What is Real Dialogue?

Real Dialogue has grown from Dialogue Therapy developed by Polly and her late husband, Ed Epstein, in 1983. Real Dialogue is a finely-honed structure for dialogue and inquiry that is used for resolving conflicts between equals in relationships. Real Dialogue allows us to have conflict with respect, use conflict creatively, and speak and listen to others without having to agree or compromise so that a process of inquiry can take place without dehumanizing or devaluing another’s point of view or perspective.

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The Skills of Real Dialogue

  • Take mindful responsibility for the subjective basis of your own impressions, memories, and staying away from stating “objective facts” and/or making “we” or “you” statements.

  • Be certain you can step into the other person’s shoes and see/hear/feel that person’s statement/message before replying to it.

  • Recognize and remain interested in what is emerging between you and the other because you know that you need both sides of an opposition in order to reach any lasting solution to problems.

These steps lead to Real Dialogue and the precious gift of being able to sit and talk with someone who is profoundly in disagreement with you. To become a certified Real Dialogue Specialist, register for the expansive Foundational Training in Real Dialogue.

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“In Real Dialogue we emphasize...you don’t have to agree, but you do have to understand before you respond.”
— Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D
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